Dublins Fair City April 8, 2009

I need to stop watching the City. Whitney Port makes me walk around picking things up with the pads of my fingers, lust after giant phones that give me email and make my head look dainty and react to all minor incidents in a very serious, dramatic manner while chewing gum. Everything with her is about how “you know, at the same time, we all make choices in our life and I’m very grateful for that and yadda yadda yadda oh you know the girls are calling a meeting because one of the boys might have kissed another girl and its just all so like DRAMA and oh I love your shoes”

 

So long as I don’t start swanning around in tights instead of pants its all gravy. I could do with a little invented drama.

 

Mothers Day, the hard way March 23, 2009

For those of you who didn’t get it right on Mother’s Day, I have the perfect gift. I know it’s a day late, but take note for next year. First of all, make sure you are out of the country for the day in question, and don’t leave a card for her, she’ll love that. When on your holidays, be sure to do something that will involve kharma hitting you in the face with some kind of illness or injury, an infection will work best for this. Mams love it when you’re sick and abroad with no insurance. Once your illness has progressed to the level you would usually go to the doctors, phone home in a panic and shoot down any suggestions for how to resolve the issue with statements such as “We CANT go to the doctor it’s a Sunday and even if we could we don’t know where the doctor is! I think I need the HOSPITAL MAM!!”. Mams like nothing better than to hear you scream you need to visit the hospital in a foreign land. Eventually accept you will most likely survive the rest of the day but you need her to go to your house and find the prescription for antibiotics you have either in the chest of drawers, wardrobe, desk or possibly anywhere else in the house, and have them waiting for you the moment you arrive home. Mams love a good treasure hunt through your belongings.

Really made her feel special I think